Submitted Question
My husband and I have 2 diffrent parenting styles. Mine is hands on and want to be informed on everything. His is more hands off and pass her off to the most recent gf. His gf's home and his gf rules. He just started taking our daughter over night and on weekends. He refuses to assist me as a Co-Parent and insists that he only cares what goes on when shes with him and doesnt care when shes with me. I made my request that discussions be made through e-mail so as to keep our daughter from over hearing and he noted and ignored my request and insists on using our child as a refree. What do I do now?All I can think of is just walking away when he trys viering off the subject of current needs like the clothes, medicines and such.

Suzanne's answer:  It would be very helpful for you and your daughter's father to see a mediator.  The mediator can help you establish rules for communicating and help the father see the importance of not involving your daughter in your adult issues.  If the father refuses mediation, yes walking away when things get out of hand, is your best option.  Let me know how it goes.


Submitted Question
I was wondering if you know of anyone who offers these same services in Texas.  Our family could benefit greatly from mediation!

Suzanne's answer:  I'm sorry I don't know anyone in Texas.  If you call your family court they
should be able to refer you to someone.
Good Luck!


Submitted Question
I have a 3year old. X is married now and i have a boyfriend who lives with me. my boyfriend has a restraining order stating he beat his x and was gang related. Can that effect me and getting custody?

Suzanne's answer:  Yes this set of circumstances can certainly have an influence on your ability to get custody. If there is any chance that your boyfriend is in a gang and has perpetrated an assault, you need to look long and hard about whether this is someone you want around your child regardless of the outcome of a custody dispute.


Submitted Question
I decided to leave the state of california with my son and now his dad is trying to get me for child abduction, can he do this?


Suzanne's answer:  Parenting plans have a procedure for moving out of the area.  Check your parenting plan and be sure you have followed the process outlined in that document.


 

Submitted Question
hello my name is sandra and i have a friend who is in a bit of a conflict with his ex and he is wanting to know what could be done for him so he could get custody of his child and how much it will be.

Suzanne's answer:  The way I work in a situation like this, is to meet with both parties and help them reach a resolution that is in the best interest of the child. Generally a resolution is reached in 4-8 hours and my hourly rate is $125.00 per hour which is significantly less than attorney fees. I would be happy to meet with your friend for a free 30 minute consultation to determine whether this process is appropriate for them.

 

Submitted Question
My son’s father threatens my daughters while holding my son. Can he lose visitation?

Suzanne's answer:  If your son’s father is causing physical harm to your children you should call Child Protective Services immediately. If your son’s father is frightening your children and they don’t want to go spend time with him it may be necessary to take the matter to Court. The Court will need to determine if it is in the best interest of the children for them to have continued visitation with their father.


Submitted Question
My child does not want to go to his father's house. The main reason is he does not get along with his father's new girlfriend. How should I handle this?

Suzanne's answer:  I would first call your son's father and talk with him.  Handle this in a positive helpful way.  Tell your former husband that you are concerned about your son and his relationship with him and suggest that he discuss the issue with your son and see if it can be resolved.  If they cannot resolve the issue on their own it would be helpful for your son and his dad to see a counselor.  Whatever you do, do not say negative things about your former husbands' girlfriend.  This can backfire and make the situation even worse

Submitted Question
My five year old daughter cries knowing that we are moving out of the house. How do I let her know we will be ok without her daddy?

Suzanne's answer:  First of all, hopefully she won't be without her daddy. Let her know that you both love her and will both continue to be involved in her life. Let her know the divorce has nothing to do with her. Make sure that she sees her daddy as much as possible. Let her see the new residence that you will be moving to and be sure to set up a special place for her in your new house as soon as possible. Be positive about your new home and keep her out of any conflicts between you and your husband. If you do all of these things it will make it less traumatic for her.

Submitted Question
My ex talks trash about me to our kids. How do I tell my kids that I wasn't the bad guy in the marriage.

Suzanne's answer:  If you weren't the bad guy in the marriage the kids probably know that at some level. If they bring up issues that their mother told them, tell them that that is their mother's opinion and not the way you see it. Let them know that these are adult issues and of no concern to them. Don't dwell on it and whatever you do don't trash their mother. If you continue to be respectful when discussing their mother the children will respect you for it.

Submitted Question
My ex-husband does not visit the kids on his scheduled time. What should I tell the kids when he does not show up?

Suzanne's answer:  Let the kids know that it has nothing to do with them. Explain that their dad is going through a difficult time and hopefully things will get better in the future. Discuss the issue with your ex-husband in a non-blaming way and let him know how disappointed the children are when he doesn't show up. Let him know how important the their relationship is to the kids. If he continues to miss visits, let him know that he has to confirm the visit with you 24 hours in advance or the visit will be cancelled. It is very difficult on kids to have to wait around for a parent who doesn't show up. If you have been involved in a litigated custody/visitation issue, discuss this with your attorney before unilaterally canceling a visit.